The million dollar question & my year end goal
So the million dollar question is “why?”
“Why aren’t you settling down”, “Why aren’t you getting a job”, “Why aren’t you getting your life sorted out, you’re already 25”
Exactly my point. I’m already 25, in fact, no. I’m ONLY 25. (And why the hell should anyone else care what I do with my life)
< rant >
How many more years do I have to take at this point to get my life sorted out? Yes, it may be later than others and yes it is going to be challenging but then again what isn’t? Youth doesn’t wait for you to sort your life out, make it big in your career path, or achieve all your goals. The last thing I want to do is wake up and realise how I’ve been sitting in a 9-5 job, or struggling with trying to make ends meet in the same place, seeing the same friends, experiencing the same thing, conforming to habits and getting stuck in a routine that people call ‘life’. It doesn’t mean that I can’t catch up with the rest of the people my age if I take this time to do what I love. At the end of the day we return to the ground and back to the earth as dust. What’s the difference between me and the others who don’t take this leap? The main difference is that I’ve experienced life and I can look back one day and mean it when I say I’ve lived to the fullest, even if life does give me lemons and sometimes, bloody sour ones.
Don’t get me wrong, I do have plans and goals. The difference between me and other people with goals is that my goals at the moment revolve around seeing the world and I actually work hard to make that happen. Any other goals thereafter that’s related to the future, I’ll figure it out when the time comes. Over-planning isn’t exactly the best way to go through life, just like how rules are made to be broken. When I’m finally satisfied with that list of things I want to achieve at the moment, then I’m ready to settle down. On the topic of settling down; it doesn’t mean getting hitched or getting a job, or buying a car and a house. The closest I can define ‘settling down’ is knowing what I want in to do in life that makes me happy and keep going at it. Some people find what they want, some people never do and they remain lost until it’s too late. It’s all about figuring it out right? Trust me, I’m struggling too. We’re only human after all.
We change so much in our twenties. I’m only midway through and already it feels as though I’ve transformed and evolved from this person to that person and then another person again. The people you meet in this life will change you, even in the slightest way, whether you notice it or not. How can you be so sure that what you’re doing right now, at this very moment is what you want 10 or 20 years from now? The thing is, change is constant and everyone probably already knows that by now. Change takes place when you go through different phases in your life. One day you’re going to stop loving everything that you love now, and when that day comes you probably won’t even realise it because such things fade away gradually, as do relationships with people and your interests, lifestyles and habits. The same goes for travelling. Tell yourself you’ll go places, that this crazy trip you’ve been dreaming about will happen whenever you get this or that out of the way, or when you finally “make it” in life. Go ahead, and see where that brings you. Sure, that happens to some people… Getting rich, and going wherever they want to go, living in fancy villas on a secluded island with a private yacht because they’re now loaded as fuck and all that ‘work’ in their younger years has paid off. But where’s that youth; that adrenaline; that drive that gives you the inner crazy to take that leap off that cliff and into the sea? All you want to do by then is to get fanned by slaves, sipping on a commercially chopped up coconut with spritz spraying on your beautiful fair skin. Sure, I might not have life savings but it’s cool. I’m a simple person and I don’t have much material needs, and I believe opportunities come by when you least expect it. If it does, it does, if it doesn’t, then figure how to pass that obstacle in life. The universe has it’s ways and what will be, will be.
I also like to look at life in a really lame and cliche scenario. Sometimes this crosses my mind: what if there’s an viral outbreak and the zombie apocalypse happens a decade down the road, what if the world ends from some alien invasion (google ‘UFO sightings’) or what if I get some terminal disease? The last thing I want is to wait around for life to kick me in my (non existant) nuts because I’m a quitter. I will give up on life if I get diagnosed with something epic tomorrow, but if that happens at least I know I’ve seen things and gone places that many haven’t had the chance to and I will feel blessed and be less depressed on my deathbed as I picture ‘A Walk To Remember’ and sob till I kick the bucket.
I don’t care so much about achievements even though I may get over ambitious sometimes. Yes, procrastination is also a big problem with me so I often start things that I don’t finish. As any person going through a quarter life crisis, I’m unsure about many things that I want in life at the moment. But I’ve figured out one thing for sure, is that I want to see as much of the world as I can, I want to experience cultures, wake up in different places and breathe air that isn’t polluted by a busy metropolis. I want to learn lessons in life that no books or the internet can teach, to understand the way of life, the history of things and places I’ve yet to know about, to face my fears and embrace change within myself. I don’t want to be part of the norm, to judge people based on petty little things like how their shoes don’t match, or how they don’t have huge biceps like those other sexy gym rats, or how that person on instagram has too little likes. I don’t want to make small talk with people who aren’t open enough to accept the idea of wanderers, and how there are people who will always struggle to find their place in this world.
My current goal is to do everything I’ve wanted to do for the past couple of years now, but I’ve never gotten down to it for various reasons. Fear, job commitments, lack of funds, personal excuses, whatever. The only difference is that I’m going to get it done, as much as I can try to. Because if you want something done, you make it happen. Some things are easy to figure out, and god knows why it took me so long to figure this simple shit out. So here goes…
GOAL: Want to get a dive licence and experience the magical realm of what’s underwater ✓ DONE (Sep 2014)
EXCUSES: I’m afraid of swimming in the vast waters since I’ve panicked a few times and what lies beneath the ocean under my feet scares me.
THE PLAN: Head to Perhentian Islands to face my fears next month
GOAL: Travel Myanmar before it gets way too commercialised ✓ DONE (Oct 2014)
EXCUSES: The people I met in Chiangmai 4 years ago all told me there’s nothing in Myanmar but Malaria (But in my travels, I’ve come to learn that you shouldn’t judge a country based on what people tell you, especially if you haven’t been there yourself. 10 people may hate something but you may like it, so find out for yourself)
THE PLAN: Taking a short trip to visit some temples, do some hikes and make a loop around Burma
GOAL: Learn a new skill abroad/join a retreat or camp ✓ DONE (Feb 2015)
EXCUSES: No time for it because I’d rather explore the country|
THE PLAN: Join a Muay Thai camp or go for a Yoga retreat for a week or two. No excuses since I’ll pick a city that I’ve already been to so I wouldn’t have the urge to want to go sightseeing.
GOAL: Do the hike of my dreams, see Nepal and FINALLY visit India, which has been on my list for too long. ✓ DONE (Nov 2014 – Jan 2015)
EXCUSES: Bailed on India the last time because ‘my backpack was too heavy’. And the media scared the shit out of me with all the light shed on increasing rape cases
THE PLAN: Annapurna Circuit. It is ON. Pray to Buddha i’ll find some travellers heading in the same direction towards India so I don’t have to be a solo female traveller in India for the first time. Also, packing light 😉
And I want to try do all of this before the year comes to an end. I don’t like making too much fixed plans or booking tickets way in advanced, but this is a rough idea of what the last few months of this year is going to look like for me.
It’s been one helluva year, 2014. Coming home after 7 months of travelling, having huge changes in my life and floating about without a proper job after taking a gap year. I’ve been struggling to fit back in to society but all that has done is given me a huge F you in the face so the decision has been made. I’m going to make the best out of what’s left of 2014 and figure shit out when I’m done with all my travel goals. I’ve met too many people on the road by now who have gone through amazing journeys, and no matter how green with envy I am, the amount of respect I have for these travellers cannot be compared to anyone I’ve ever met in the work industry. When I look back someday, I hope to remember July 2013 – December 2014 as ‘that one time I quit my job to take time off to see the world, discover myself and experience life changing moments’.
< / rant >
P.S: I’m not an excellent writer, neither am I a professional photographer. In fact I’m nobody great and I probably won’t be remembered for much when I kick the bucket. I don’t make money from writing in this space, or from any web ads, banners or traffic. To be completely frank, half of my friends don’t even know the existence of this blog because I’ve never openly publicised it on social media. There’s no real benefit for me writing all these down but I guess I’d just like to share my experiences and travels with like minded people, and then maybe some day have an honest rant on life because it’s too short to let it go to waste. So don’t hate on my opinions if you have a different take on how you should live your life. And if you are a fellow wanderer like me, I hope this post finds you well, and namaste.
“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” – Mark Twain